How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
