Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
