this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
