I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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