New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
