she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize