Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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