you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
