i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Randomize
