I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
