I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
