You just made me feel so damn special
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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