the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
