i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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