how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
