you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
