Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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