Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
