I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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