My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
