We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
