ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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