Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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