and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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