it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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