I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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