Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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