He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
smell my finger.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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