One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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