i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
