So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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