I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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