Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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