I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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