I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
