haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
