I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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