So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
