I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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