I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize