It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize