Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize