So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
