Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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