i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
