You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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