Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I could fuck to npr.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
