Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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