this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
