It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
