Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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