whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
