I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize