I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
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