It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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