His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
