Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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