Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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