i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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