New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
its liver damage thursday
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
