I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize