I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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