thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
