Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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