i just google imaged poop.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
