Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
