I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Randomize