I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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