And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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