his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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