Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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