Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
