Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
