I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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