does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Randomize
